Letting Go

2nd Corinthians 12: 7-10
7 So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. 8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
During Lent, I think of the suffering of Jesus and how that should apply to my life today. These verses from Corinthians are counterintuitive. I am not proud of my weaknesses. I am deeply offended and aggrieved if I have been insulted. I want to steer clear and avoid any chance of calamity. And yet there is a comfort in knowing God’s grace is more than enough for us and that our weaknesses shouldn’t be something to hide from, to be ashamed of, or to be feared. It is safe to be weak. 
This Lenten season I'm not thinking about what I will be “giving up” but I am thinking more about how I will be “opening up.” I want to be open to new things, new ideas, and different perspectives as part of a community. I joined the SOV’s Monday Book group and have enjoyed the discussions of reading Atul Gawande’s “Being Mortal”, Kate Bowler’s “No Cure for Being Human” and  Nadia Bolz-Weber’s “Accidental Saints.” I have also found meaning and value from joining the community of Pastor Tari’s “Discipleship Academy.” I used to pride myself in working long hours and getting a lot of work done. I also realize that that focus was always the reason why I would pass by the opportunities of being in a book club or a Discipleship Academy. I love the readings from the Discipleship Academy and those readings have also spurred me on to read more books about Lutheran theologians Reinhold Niebuhr and Paul Tillich. In a divided angry hateful world, gaining a deeper Lutheran perspective is refreshing, encouraging, and helpful. 
This Lenten season I am thinking about and reflecting on whether there are things or beliefs that I am “holding on to” that I should “let go” or if there are beliefs or things that I have often “let go” that I should “hold on to.” I have been reflecting on time and how it is limited and how I use it. I’ve been thinking about what it means to be a good husband, father, son, or friend and how I allocate my time. My mother and mother-in-law both are having some health challenges right now. Is this an inconvenience, an opportunity, or a blessing for me? Both of my children are adults. How do I show love and support for them in ways that are most helpful and meaningful? 
And I don’t mean this as saying that I have everything all figured out or perfected. Sometimes there is a petty grievance that I know I should “let go” but that it is still there and that I’m “holding on” to it. Other times, there’s something where I think, “I held on to that for so many years, but I’m ready to let it go.” There are other things were I want to make a commitment to “hold on” or learn something new but I haven’t followed through. 
There is value in life, in friendship, in relationships. I don’t think I will ever get to be like Paul where he almost celebrates his weaknesses, being insulted and persecuted, and experiencing his calamities. However, I want to be less bitter, less resentful, less petty. And I want to have a deeper understanding and knowledge in my daily life that “His Grace is sufficient.”